Enigman and I are no longer friends!
Personally, I had always hoped to make that statement, and then follow it up with...we are now a couple. But apparently that was never meant to be.
A few days ago he snapped at me, I snapped back, and before I knew what had happened, he told me that our friendship was over!
We've had fights before (I've fought more with him than with my own mother during my adolescent 'angst' years) - but this time is different. He has 'unfriended' me from social networks.
All my efforts to sit down after the fight and talk it through were ignored.
And so I did what I think is best for me...I deleted all his numbers. Now I am unable to get hold of him again. (well, of course not completely unable - I know where he lives, and we live in a technologically corrupt era - it is truly impossible to wipe someone out of your life without whole-hearted gusto!)
So now that a few days have passed, and I am completely without him in my life, I have begun to see that our relationship may have fallen within the bounds of dysfunctional.
For years I have been in love with him, and for years we have walked this strange path of awkward friendship that could have been more but never was! Which (of course as a female), has caused a lot of issues for me. And has most likely stopped me from pursuing other options!
So here I am. I am ready for something new. My heart still hurts. Everyday I cry a little over the loss of my best friend, and the loss of what could have been.
But I like to think that this experience has taught me to take better care of myself in so many different ways. And I think that 'taking care of yourself' differs for everyone - depending on personal strengths and weaknesses.
So today I Say Thanks Anyway for a friendship that was beautiful. It brought me memories which still make me laugh. And it taught me to understand myself.
